Acrid-Virus-3020 (Part 1 of 4)

“Meezo, meezo!”  The Meezo were an alien race in the 4th millennia AD.  They destroyed their own planet after warring with each other and discovered a new planet – the third planet rounding their sun – Planet Earth, as the Meezo would soon discover.  The Meezo started their galactical colonization mission by first discovering different stars and what humans call “suns”.  Once they controlled the “sun” with their special powers, they were able to infiltrate all the planets within that galaxy.  They landed on Earth in the year 3020 during the great pandemic “Acrid-Virus-3020”.

       The Meezo were tiny desolate purple creatures without a discernable visage – no eyes, no ears, no mouth – nothing resembling mammals.  They looked like fuzzy little eminems the size of fire hydrants communicating with a simple “meezo, meezo” type of sounding language that was voiced by their minds.  They were capable of massive destruction. 

On their initial discovery mission, they landed in Los Angeles and marveled at all the freeways, skyscrapers, movie studios, mountains and a giant Ocean.  However, they could not find any sentient beings because everyone was in quarantine huddling in their huts.  They were of course trying to stave off infection and keeping themselves sealed away from one another, to limit the spread of the virus.  However, the Meezo didn’t understand this.

The Meezo were perplexed upon first entry at the corner of Sunset and Gower.  Where did this civilization come from?  They strolled around the empty streets marveling at the black tops with little white and yellow stripes and crisscrossing massive metal pole things with a simple color-coded language of long shining red and green lights and a transitional yellow light that never talked much.  The little human symbol striding on the little box around the color-coded language boxes gave the perplexed Meezo an idea of how the newly discovered lifeforms looked like.

       The Meezo were impressed – this big, empty wondrous place with all of these solid greys looking giant boxes with the earthling’s language all over them plastered the sea of empty Hollywood that the Meezo mesmerizingly ogled.  The Meezo were shocked to find the civilization empty as the master species were putting around at home in quarantine.  There were few of the species walking around which disgusted the Meezo – these non-purple, elongated shapes with many orifices and serious looking visages, dangling celery stalk things at the end of the main living quarters could be counted by four.  Two of the dangling objects were on the top.  These units had these weird grippers with 10 tiny objects that were slim and fragile looking.  The Meezo had excellent mind vision and could see the tiny hard clear tips at the end of the fragile things.  They also found two other dangling shapes on the bottom of the species.  They had fabric on them which they couldn’t identify as pants.  At the bottom near the ground were hoofs that kept the weird shapes standing up without falling somehow. 

They located a few of the species with their species language on them which they identified as reading “Police”.  They mainly milled about in groups with the little dots on the top of the shapes that seemed so alert and focused.  The Meezo wondered what all this business was about – big blacktop things, these gigantic metallic things with 4 giant rubbery balls on each of the four corners and these things just stood their empty without any species around them.  Were the people hiding from the gigantic metallic things?  Were they mad at the numerous language boxes at each corner of the people maze at the point where two splattered black tops crossed called intersections? 

They figured out that these people species would need more space for their natural transportation things at the end of their main bodies to propel them back and forth like they were gliding.  The Meezo figured out that the black part of the maze was for the gigantic metallic objects to move – which was stupid to them because the people gave the enormous dumb things more space than they really needed.  They would be able to move naturally with the stringy objects that carried them if they had more non-black space.

The Meezo had no idea that humans utilized these networks of roadways, traffic signals, and bridges to navigate complex terrain and find efficient routes to keep themselves occupies, healthy and connected to each other.

The Meezo traveled around looking for these marvelous creatures.  They found their way around to residentially zoned areas of the City where they witnessed their first hut-dwelling people.  They tripped along a network of multi-family apartment complexes on Detroit Street.  This is where they discovered the genius species called humans and they were utterly horrified by what they saw.  In every hut, they discovered the genius species laying on this large, boxy and cozy thing called a couch.  On that couch, there they were – the genius creator of this massive civilization and they were in their fuzzy pajamas, fluffy slippers and for five hours they were staring at these boxy gadget objects that flashed pictures, and apparently communicated stories and cat vines. 

The Meezo marveled and stared at these architects of a great civilization.  The aliens could never imagine a more surreal picture.  The Meezo salivated and thought, “Wow, this is going to be easy!”  They were looking forward to what looked like an easy come up – a simple conquest of a planet dominated by couch zombies.  They had no idea of the battle that was yet to come.


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