This twisted, tangled ladder of blessings and safe landings from this mysterious tree of life has landed me here. My younger brother always my baby brother even as he turned 40 this past fall and even as we are only two grades apart has emerged out of a deathly depression.
His art career took him to the South of France where he hoped to move his art career to a new level. The problem was, he did not take his anti-depressants with him. He stopped his medication and fell into a suicidal stupor, isolated all alone with zero confidence in himself and in his future.
Myself, I flashed in my own chemical imbalanced state, going from regular dude to raging asshole in a minute – a manifestation of bi-polar disorder that I inherited from my family tree. The year was rough but a triumphant lesson can be gleaned from our story.
My family and I were able to get my brother back to Los Angeles with our wonderfully giving cousins. I was able to celebrate his 40th birthday with him and shower him with love even as I climbed up and down in my bi-polar roller coaster. He picked up his paintbrush again and started producing some beautiful works.
Another breakthrough came this past month for my younger brother – he went back on his medication. He looks so happy as I fight back tears – he cooks, he goes out to art galleries and celebrations with friends. For about a year, he didn’t leave his room and stared at his paintings over-analyzing every negative detail in his life.
Living with mental illness can turn people’s world sideways creating so many burdens for those suffering and those supporting these individuals. Medication is a nasty reality for those that suffer – it sucks, you don’t really know what you are putting in your system, your raw personality gets dissolved. However, there are only two roads to a long life for those that suffer: one, admitting that you need help and that the world is not to blame and secondly, find the medication that helps you feel regular/stabilized.
For me, I knew medication was working because I was able to sit through a two hour movie without bursting out upset, or entertaining delusions that the movie was about me. These symptoms are so frightening – they turn a basic assumption that you are the actor in your own life to you are the master of everybody else’s along with your destiny. That is not a well, balanced mindframe which for many suffering from mental illness can only be achieved with correct dosage medication and a supportive, mellow, alcohol/illegal drug free environment.
Many mentally ill people are creative geniuses, empaths, loving, trusting and energetic. However, with incredibly gifted minds and spirits come a lot of maintenance.
I have been getting well myself spending time in the wonderfully creative atmosphere of West Los Angeles/Hollywood. Part of city life is to see abject poverty – the cost of living is so high and many don’t have the support system and access to medication to keep them regulated and off the streets. I look at these people on the streets and think what life turnarounds they would have if they could just get the meds they need to become stable and really contribute to society which DESPERATELY NEEDS THEIR TALENTS AND EXPERIENCES.
I will be going on my walks now, writing and thinking business even as revenue/income needs to spike up. Please know that you or your loved ones dealing with mental health issues WILL MAKE IT AND YOU WILL FEEL BLESSINGS BEYOND BEYOND ❤ 💙 💜 💖 DM$ 2022